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Monthly Archives: October 2013

The end?

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Yesterday’s gloom gave way to a gloriously sunny afternoon and I am so glad I was able to get out to enjoy it for a few hours. That’s as long as the sun lasted, just a few short, but wonderful, hours, and then, as I sat after my walk at a favorite spot, I watched the clouds come rolling back in from the south. Today, it’s back to gray skies.

I’m thinking I may be ready to pull the plug on the blog. I’ve gone about as far as I can go with it, and each day’s post now seems an awful lot like the one the day before. I don’t need it the way I did when I started it. I’m not saying I’ve arrived, because I haven’t. I am, however, much less dependent on the daily natterings than I was. I’m stronger, surer, more confident and able. Truthfully, some days, the blog feels like a burden. Online life as a whole does, and the blog is just one more thing that enables me to fritter more time away online. Maybe it’s time to say “good bye.”

I’ll see how I feel about it tomorrow. In the meantime, happy Thursday, all–make it a great day!

Questions

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I woke to a damp, foggy morning. It’s raining in earnest now, and there’s even been some thunder and lightning. Needless to say, it’ll be an indoors kind of day. What I really want to do is get outside, but that’s unlikely today.

It’s not that I don’t have plenty to do–there are the dishes, neglected (again) for too long. Laundry is going now, and there are always other chores to attend to. I could knit, too, or read, or get out that bit of cross stitch I started the other day, or get the sewing machine out and make some pillow covers or a sock monkey. But I’d really rather go for a walk.

I’ve been thinking this morning about creativity, how the need to create, to make stuff, seems so deeply embedded in humans. Making stuff, not just out of necessity, but for the sheer joy of it. I make stuff, often, but I wonder, am I being creative when I’m using someone else’s ideas or patterns? Some of what I make is deeply satisfying; other things are nothing but a chore. What makes that difference? And can I foster creativity, can I become more creative? I don’t have any answers, just a lot of questions right now.

In the meantime, I have the simple, homely chores of everyday life to occupy me. Busy hands, but a mind free to wander where it will. That doesn’t seem like such a bad thing just now.

Happy Wednesday, all–make it a great day!

ETA: The sun’s out now and it’s a gorgeous day. Guess where I’ll be?

Less limiting

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One of the things Mr. F didn’t like about me was my tendency to say “no” to exploring, to walking or hiking in the beautiful place where he lived. He once likened me to his horse, Joe, who’d drag his feet on the first half of any ride, but, nearing the second half and knowing he was closer to home, Joe would pick up the pace considerably, anticipating a warm, dry stall and possibly some treats at the end of the trail.

I’m not sure how much I like being compared to a horse–and Mr. F compared me to a horse more than once–but still, the analogy was fairly apt. I did drag my feet a lot.

I wouldn’t do that so much now. Just the other day, I hit a trail I’d long been curious about, but had been too uncertain of my ability to complete it to wander off down it. Before, I’d look down that way and think, “I don’t know.” Sunday, it was “what the hell, I’m doing it!” There are still parts of that trail to explore, but the point is, I went down it. I got off the beaten path, I did something I’d been too much of a wuss to do before, I pushed out of my comfort zone. I explored, and while it may not be any kind of Lewis and Clark epic of exploration, it was more than I’d done before.

I’ve been making a point of that kind of “what the hell” spirit more lately. Like dancing, in front of strangers and my friends, at the wedding on Saturday. My dancing sucks, but what the hell? it felt good. Joyous. Freeing. Less limiting.

I think it’s true what they say, that most of our limitations are those we place on ourselves. Here’s your homework for the day: do something less limiting. Go down that trail. Dance. Make that phone call. Loosen the bonds.

Happy Tuesday, all–make it a great day!

 

 

 

Dad’s birthday

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Today, I’m thinking of my dad. It would have been his 104th birthday, and though he’s been gone for many years now, I still think of him nearly every day. We didn’t have a perfect relationship, both of us being stubborn to the point of being unreasonable at times. Still, my dad was a man of honor, someone who treated people fairly more often than not, a generous man who helped out folks as he was able, a mechanical genius who could fix darn near anything, a man of faith. He seemed to know when his time was growing short and he savored those last days. He didn’t fear death, he faced it like a man, and though it may seem odd to say it, I’m really very fortunate to have been the first person to be with him after he slipped away. His soul was still very much there in that hospital room, and I got to tell him that I loved him and I was proud of him.

This isn’t where I’d planned to go with the blog post today, but that’s okay. Detours are permitted, and days of remembrance and reflection are necessary. I’ve been having an exchange on Facebook on “You know you grew up in Ames if . . .” with a guy who worked for my dad back in ’67 or ’68 and that’s brought back a flood of memories. Funny that it happened on Dad’s birthday, but then, maybe it was supposed to. Despite an often difficult relationship with him, I loved my dad. I love him still. Love–real love–lasts, no matter what.

Happy thoughtful Monday, all–make it a great day!

 

 

Saturday shortie

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Another quickie today. It’ll be a rest day, as I have a wedding to go to this afternoon and there will be a bit more prep work than usual to get ready for it. I got a good walk in yesterday and will plan on one for tomorrow, but today is all about my friends and celebrating with them.

Happy Saturday, all! Make it a great day!

Friday shortie

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I’m very glad I got things done yesterday so I can goof off some today. It’s sunny and, though cool, should be a dandy day to get out for a walk. I’ve been missing my walks this week.

That’s it, really–I have a free day today and I intend to make the most of it.

Happy Friday, all–make it a great day!

ETA: Two things–it’s clouded over now. Nertz. Also, today is my two-year anniversary with this blog. There has been a lot of progress made; there’s a lot more to come. If you’re still with me, thank you.

 

I got no moves and I don’t care

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Arggh! I just lost a nearly complete post. Flippin’ computer!

What I meant to say is this: Yesterday started out promising, very cool but sunny, then the clouds rolled in and brought sporadic and very chilly rain for the rest of the day. There was even some brief snow. I don’t mind walking in the rain, but I like to have my umbrella with me if I do, and the rain was so unpredictable that I opted out of walking. Instead, I did something I hadn’t done in years.

I dug out an old CD I’d burned some years back, one that promised to have all my faves–and a lot of them were–I put that in the player, hit “start,” and I danced. Not well, because I can’t dance, but I can move my feet and flail my arms around and shake my fine wide arse with the best of them, and I did, for the better part of 45 minutes.

You know what? It was great! Who cares if I have zero smooth moves? No one but the stinky cat saw me, and she slept through most of it, anyway. It felt fantastic, and I found myself grinning like the dork I am, breathless and sweaty and feeling mighty fine.

So here’s the thing–you don’t need any fancy equipment. You don’t need to go to a gym, or have a fitness guru, or twee little outfits. All you need, really, is a radio and some open space, and you can get a really, really good, not to mention fun, workout. I’ll still keep walking when I can, I’ll still do my weights and yoga, but I’ll be adding some really good, really bad, dancing into the mix.

Happy Thursday, all! Make it a great day!

Ready

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It should not take the better part of four hours to find a pair of pants. I’m just sayin.’

That was my afternoon shot yesterday, and while I momentarily gave in to some of the negative self-talk I’m prone to while clothes-shopping, I gave myself a talking to and snapped out of it in short order. I finally found a pair of pants that fit reasonably well and even though I paid more than I wanted to, I’m pretty well satisfied with them. Other than some laundry and replacing a couple of buttons on my jacket, I’m ready to go to this wedding, and I am going to celebrate with my friends and have a fine time.

I didn’t get my yoga in yesterday, but I did my weights and farted around trying out some other routines, ones that involve a whole lot more coordination than I have or really even want to have of my various limbs. I’ll stick with what I’m doing, more or less, though I have realized in the last couple of days that I’m not sweating enough when I exercise. Sweat is a key factor, I think, to achieving my goals, and I’ll be kicking things up a notch or three in order to make that happen. I feel much better; I want to look better, too. I’ll get there eventually. I’m not giving up.

Holy crap, it’s Wednesday already! Make it a great day, all!

 

 

Pants

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It’s cool–currently only 36–overcast, and damp here today. The S-word was in the forecast but I’ve seen no evidence of it and that’s just fine by me. There will very likely not be a walk today though I will do weights and yoga.

Shopping is on the agenda for this afternoon. I have a wedding to go to on Saturday and while the top half is covered, I don’t have anything suitable for the bottom half. I must have pants!

I especially need to remember to be gentle with myself this afternoon while I’m trying on clothes. I tend to berate myself pretty harshly when clothes shopping, over sizes, over how I look in my underwear–and let’s face it, unless you’re an underwear model, you look pretty silly in your drawers, too–over my lack of whatever I think I lack. I’m doing my best to look at this expedition in a positive light, believing that I’ll find the right pair at the right price with a minimum of fuss and self-incrimination, keeping in mind several of the positive thoughts from the list I linked to yesterday.

I’d meant to start the day by reading over the list, tweaking it here and there to make it more relevant to me, but things like having to pee got in the way. Then I forgot. Then I got busy. Life¬† happened, and the list is still where I left it last night. That’s okay–it’ll be there at the right time. But I do want to incorporate those positives into my life as I go through my days, and as I continue to work toward my goals of health and well-being.

On one very positive note, I’ve been much more mindful of my eating in the last week or so. I’ve had impulses and cravings, but for the most part I’ve been able to distract myself to the point that I’ve not given in. Sure, I slipped up a time or two, but most of the time I’ve not given in, and I’m very happy about that. YaY! Progress!

Happy Tuesday, all! Make it a great day!

Monday catch-all

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And I’m back! Didja miss me?

I’ve been online a lot lately, too much. I know, you’ve heard that before, and there’s no one to blame but me. I’m kind of like the person who insists on having cable TV, and then watches three channels. I hit the same sites, over and over. Obsessed? Yep, that’s me. I don’t really know what I’m hoping for, but it’s not good.

So I took a bit of a break over the weekend, and though it wasn’t quite enough, and I did not really have a tech sabbath, it was nice. I keep forgetting how nice it is to shut the computer down and actually go do other things instead of thinking about doing the things I enjoy or reading about doing the things I enjoy. I feel like I’ve accomplished something and sort of grown up when I actually do stuff instead of dicking around just thinking about it.

Remember those new shoes I got a long time ago? The ones I was going to break in and start wearing because my old ones are such shameful crap? I finally started wearing them this past weekend, and while I have blister the size of a quarter on my left heel, I think once that goes away the shoes will be fine. Ironically, I saw some magic potion at the Wal-mart yesterday that’s supposed to prevent friction blisters, but it can’t be used once a person already has a blister. I’ll have to try to remember it before I start breaking in the next new pair of shoes. For now, it’s band-aids and tape and hoping I don’t keep rubbing my heel raw. Good times.

There’s a post on FB today that’s worth reading. I won’t natter on about it, other than to say that it hits me right where I live. Look for the heading “How I Overcame 3 Decades of Obesity.”¬† Go read it: https://www.facebook.com/gokaleo?hc_location=stream

Happy Monday, all–make it a great day!