So here’s the thing: life is full of good-byes. Some are wrenching and you just never get over them. Others are less painful, and then there are the ones that, while perhaps regrettable in some way or another, just are. No particular emotion is attached, it’s just a shrug of the shoulders and off you go.
It came time for a good-bye this morning, and while some of it’s painful, most of it’s just “as you wish” and I’m gone. For that part of it, there’s no pain or pang of regret, no sorrow at the closing of this episode of my life, no anger, only a recognition that a good-bye is necessary. There’s also no backing down from a decision I made that led to this. Declining someone’s bullshit and saying some hard but needful words don’t make me a bad or angry person, and I make no apology for what was said and done. Similarly, just as I made choices and took action when it became necessary for me to do so, others did this morning, and that’s okay with me. I respect their choices, if not exactly the method of conveying those choices to me, and I wish them well from here on out.
I don’t have time or energy to hold onto anger or bitterness the way I did when I was younger. There’s just no place for that kind of raging and destructive emotion in my life anymore. Don’t get me wrong–I still have flashes of anger, and I may be pissy for a whole day or two sometimes, but to hang onto it for the long term? Nope, I don’t have time for that. As the saying goes, holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
So, good-bye to some folks I’ve known, and I hope to see you again to some others. Either way, know there’s no ill-will on my part. Sometimes, after all, good-byes are necessary.