I’m reminded once again why I dislike winter so much. It’s a frigid, gloomy day, and I’m thinking maybe I should have invested in a SAD light before winter started. These oppressive days really get to me, and not in a good way. I’m working my way out of the funk I’ve been in the last couple of days or so, but it’s hard work. Seriously, I’m leaving Iowa the second I can. One more Iowa winter might just do me in.
That said, I did wake with a bit of a lighter heart this morning. I faced up to a task yesterday that wasn’t easy for me, but it was necessary. I’d been more or less asked out, as in for a date, and I’d initially accepted, but it just felt all kinds of wrong to me afterward and I spent the next several days wrestling with my conflicted feelings. The man doing the asking is a lovely man, smart and charming and handsome and funny, and any girl ought to be good with that kind of guy, but what it came down to for me was that I’d feel like I was cheating. I just couldn’t do it, go out with this nice man, because however nice he is, he isn’t the nice man who holds my heart, and I had to tell that to the man who asked me out. Call me a sap if you want–I’m not the cheating kind, and it doesn’t matter if Mr. F would ever know or not. I would, and I can’t do it.
The other nice man in question was very gracious and understanding, and we will remain friends. That’s a good thing, and a heck of a lot better than going ahead with something I know isn’t right with me, regretting it, and losing a friend whom I value.
In other news, I’ve been keeping up with my commitment to my 10 minutes of deliberate activity during the day, I’m shutting my computer down earlier, if not exactly right after I’m done working for the day, and hat number 26 is off the needles. Number 27 is scheduled to be cast on later today. Woot! It feels good to look back at the end of the day and see that I’ve accomplished something.
And I’m reminding myself that each day that passes is one day closer to spring. It can’t get here soon enough!