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Better than that

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Here’s the thing: it’s awfully challenging to stay on the sunny side when you live with someone who keeps trying to drag you back into the dark. I’m going to hold onto my stupid optimism if it kills me, and it just might, but dammit, I refuse to give in to the persistent negativity, the whining and moaning and angry outbursts that are a part of every day around here.

I went for a walk again yesterday and the full first half was just to get my mad out after another outburst, another attack on me. It helped. Those walks, my afternoons at the park–they are saving my life and my sanity. For a couple of hours, I’m free. I can breathe. I can feel like a competent human being, free of criticism and anger and meanness.

I will not give in. I will not turn sour and mean and bitter. I have those things in me and I have given in to them, but I will fight those demons with all I have in me. I’m better than that.

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About Kymm

I'm a reader and writer and knitter, a sister, daughter, and friend. This blog is my letter, of love and hate, frustration and joy, rants and praises, to a great big world. You can read it if you want to.

2 responses »

  1. Yeah baby!
    Exactly why I rarely call mine ( you know who I’m talking about ) .
    I refuse to be dragged into the quagmire. I’m just about ready to become a hermit, if that’s what it takes.
    More and more of those assholes out there.
    My knitting group is being overrun by whiny negative bitches. I may have to quit.
    Or start one at my house and have secret meetings with a password.

    Reply
    • I hear that, and “quagmire” is an apt term.

      I hear you about the negative Nellies in the knitting group, too. That’s exactly why I quit one–because of one or two people. Sad, that, but true. As for starting one of your own, the beauty of that is you can make it invitation-only. Vet everyone before you let ’em in the door.

      There are plenty of assholes, for sure. I just want to be sure I’m not one of them. I don’t want to be a wussy, either. I have earned some respect, though I get very little of it from the people who are supposedly closest to me.

      Reply

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