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When you’ve got it good

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You know how you often don’t know how good you have it until it’s gone? Or worse, until you feel it slipping away from you and there’s nothing you can do to call it back to you? You feel helpless, desperate, you wish with all you have in you that you could turn back time to the very point where it all started to change and somehow fix it.

I felt that way about my job. I know–a job! I’ve often been pretty casual about work, because you know what? something has always come along when I needed it. Always. Granted, I’m not a career-minded person, I’m not a workaholic, and my wants and needs are minimal. I live differently than you probably do. That’s my choice and it’s one I’ve grown to not only accept, but to like a whole lot. I’m more than okay with what has been called the “good enough” job.

So about six months ago, when my first contract was up with the company I provide services to, I was in that place where I didn’t know how good I had it until I might have lost it. Was I good enough? Had I been too neglectful of my duties? Had I left things too long, or too late? Would I (horrors!) be forced to look for a real job? When I got notification that my contract had been extended for an additional six months, I cried. I really did. Relief and gratitude flooded me and came pouring out of my eyes. I made the grade. I cut the mustard. I didn’t have to find a job!

Tomorrow marks the end of that contract and I’ve been sweating it a little this week, so when I got an email yesterday to tell me my contract has been extended again, there was that sense of relief and gratitude again, not to the same degree as before–I didn’t break down and bawl–but there was a happy tear or two. I really have it pretty good, and I want to be mindful of that, not just when my contract is up, but every day I can and do work to provide for myself and the lazy cat and I don’t have to leave the house to do it. I want to be grateful for what is, here and now, and not moan over what isn’t. And I want to know, here and now, that I’ve got it pretty good, not when the good is slipping away from me.

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About Kymm

I'm a reader and writer and knitter, a sister, daughter, and friend. This blog is my letter, of love and hate, frustration and joy, rants and praises, to a great big world. You can read it if you want to.

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