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It’s not about the money

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What do you resent spending money on? And what’s money well spent? These are two questions that have been posed on The Non-Consumer Advocate’s blog recently. I spent some time this morning reading through those posts, as well as the comments. Cable/satellite/pay TV seems to be something many women resent spending money on–and in my experience, you end up watching about three of the hundreds of channels available, and still, 98% of the time there’s nothing on. Good shoes rank high in the “money well spent” comments, and I’d agree there, too. It does not pay to buy cheap shoes.

Those posts prompted me to re-think my own spending. If you’ve been playing along for a while here, you know I’m frugal. I watch every penny and I work at paring my spending down to what matters to me. It still gets away from me sometimes and I buy dumbass stuff I don’t need or want, but still, I work at being disciplined in my spending.

I do a “big spend” at the start of the month, when I take my list and head to the local discount retailer and buy what I need for the month. This month’s list has a whopping four five items on it, divided between laundry needs and pain relief. I could probably cut the list down to three four things if I got creative, and also save myself a trip to Target, which is not somewhere I like to shop anyway,  for that one item. I don’t know why unscented dryer sheets are so hard to come by, but they seem to be.

All this to say I spent a shocking amount of money last month on stuff I didn’t need. I’ve been trying to convince myself that it’s because I’ve been leaving the house to go to work, and I do spend some extra money on gas for that privilege, but it’s really because I was indulging myself. Buying stuff to act as a temporary panacea to whatever’s been eating at me. I was probably aware of that at the time I was buying whatever it was I was buying, but chose to go the easy route instead of digging into the deeper issues.

It’s not about the money so much as it’s about my life.

That’s hard work, folks, getting down to the nitty gritty, and it’s not for the faint of heart. Some ugly stuff comes to the surface if you do face whatever it is that’s eating at your mind and heart and soul, but in the end, it can be so worth it.

And now, having come to that point of realization, I’m faced with a hard choice: do I keep running away or do I roll up my sleeves and finally really get after it?

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About Kymm

I'm a reader and writer and knitter, a sister, daughter, and friend. This blog is my letter, of love and hate, frustration and joy, rants and praises, to a great big world. You can read it if you want to.

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