Mindfulness is a word I like. I try to embrace it, and I try to live it. I fail, but I keep trying, and that’s what really counts.
Lately, I’ve been working on being more mindful about what I’m eating. I’m choosing, and being deliberate, and I’m telling myself, several times a day now, that food is fuel. It’s not comfort or a solution to whatever minor crisis I’m dealing with. It’s not going to make my relationships with those closest to me easier or better or less hair-pullingly irritating. It’s not going to fill the giant gaping hole Mr. F’s absence has left in my life.
So I’m working on being mindful. I’m careful about the number of slices of bread I eat, because I’m fairly convinced that bread in quantity isn’t my friend. I’m careful about the amount of sugar I consume. Mr. F told me that sugar makes me crazy and he was right, darn him. I’m choosing to eat fruit and maybe a piece of string cheese for my afternoon snack instead of sweets or chips or whatever else may tempt me.
I’m more mindful about what I’m eating for supper (you can call it dinner if you want to. Around here, it’s supper). That’s the one meal of the day that, more than anything else, has made me fat. So I’m more mindful and more careful about what I eat. I’ve been eating soup the last several nights, and you know what? It tastes really good, it fills me up, and it doesn’t come laden with calories I don’t need. And I’m feeling better. Lighter (metaphorically, doncha know). I think my Buddha belly has retreated just a tiny bit.
Along with that, I stop eating altogether by 8:00. I need to break my near-nightly tea habit, too, because that non-dairy creamer I so love in my PG Tips isn’t doing me any good, and neither, probably, are the two spoons of sugar I stir in, but baby steps. I’ll get there.
There are exceptions, of course–Knitter’s Night and game night mean free grazing. And that’s cool, because food and drink is a treat then, something that feels just a little bit naughty, and everyone needs a little naughty once in a while.
Mindful naughtiness–there’s something I can fully embrace!